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| Dinner party at Julie & Julia movie. |
I have to admit that I love watching the Channel 4 program “Come dine with me”. It shows a group of four strangers throwing a dinner party and racing for a prize of £1000 at the end. When I first started watching this program I was really disappointed. I thought the most important thing was the menu and the winner would be, obviously, the one who cooked the best.
Actually, I was completely wrong. It is supposed to be about food, but I observed that more important than the food, what really counts is the hosting skills of the contestant. They have to organize a dinner party, plan the menu and entertain their guests. Sounds tricky, doesn’t it? It is. Many things can go wrong, but after watching a few episodes of this program and based on my own experience I have good tips on how to minimize the mistakes.
- Choosing the guests
First thing about a dinner party: you have to choose your guests, based on their preferences and personalities you will build up your menu, music and table décor. It seems so simple, but funnily enough many people forget about the basics. You are throwing a party to please your guests, not you. So think about them first and foremost. In my opinion, a good number would be between 4 and 8 people. Try to choose people with different personalities, just to spicy up the atmosphere. But be careful with personality clashes. It’s always good to invite new people too.
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| Julia Child in the kitchen (Julie & Julia) |
- Creating a menu
Once you decided who is coming to your dinner party, it’s time to think about how to feed them. Try to prepare dishes that everybody can eat. But I am afraid this is not always possible. For example, you are preparing meat but you have one guest that is a vegetarian, be extra careful and make sure you have prepared some alternative dish. Same care should be taken if your guests have allergies.
If you are preparing a three course dinner, first thing you have to do is to serve delicious appetizers. Make sure they are not too heavy (myself for example, I always avoid serving cheese, but this is not a rule, just a personal thing). The appetizer’s goal is just to tease your guests for your main course, not to fill them. This is the beginning of the party; after your guests arrival they should be comfortable and encouraged to have a good time.
Don’t forget to think about drinks. You can think of some sparkling drink (champagne, Prosecco, for example) punch or cocktails. But never mix them. I don’t like to prepare different drinks at the same evening, either champagne or a cocktail, for example. Another important tip: Don’t forget about the non-alcoholic drinkers, just in case you have invited one.
Try to balance your three courses. If you are serving a light main course it means you can indulge your guests with a decadent chocolate pudding, for example. On the other hand, if you have served a rather heavy main course, you have to favour a light dessert.
- Preparing your house
Once you chose your guests and you have designed a menu, it’s time to prepare your house to create an inviting atmosphere. Apart from the actual cooking part, this is one of my favorite moments. Once again, keep your guest in mind. Are they young and trendy? Are they couples and rather formal? Or a bit of a mix? Remember, you have to create an ambience that is coherent with their lifestyle.
But I forgot to say something important too. This is your house; you want to show your personal style, you are the host. It means that what you have to do is to conciliate the occasion and guest’s style with your own very personal touch. While hosting, I always avoid being extra formal (although some degree of formality is very appealing to me) mainly because I am not an old lady (yet) and I don’t want to suffocate my guests with etiquette rules.
In my opinion, there are a couple of details that can help you, it does not matter the occasion. For example, while setting the table: make sure you have the appropriate dinnerware, immaculate linen tablecloth, cloth napkins, and wine glasses. Don’t forget to add some nice touches like flowers and unscented candles. It seems basic, but some people forget it, so it’s better to remind anyway. Be careful with flowers, they should not have a strong smell or either interfere your guest’s view. Most of the occasions I like to keep it simple, classic and timeless. Don’t make a fuss cluttering your table with unnecessary items. Be careful with colour polluting as well. This is not Brazilian carnival. Keep it sober, clean and organized.
As for the rest of the house, the same rule applies. Make sure everything is absolutely tidy, especially toilets (very important) and create space for circulation. Sometimes it can be tricky if you live in a small flat for example, but believe me, it’s always possible to organize your furniture in a more functional way.
Don’t forget about adding some upbeat tunes. It sets a nice and inviting mood. Try to prepare beforehand a nice playlist that lasts at least 2 hours. It can take a little bit of your time, but it’s worth the effort. If you do that, you won’t be worried about cooking, entertaining your guests and being a DJ on top of it.
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| Paul Child toasting scene (Julie & Julia) |
- Entertaining your guests
Fine, you have everything under control. Everything is prepared and you are just waiting your guest’s arrival. Make sure you have enough time to get yourself dressed and enjoy your first drink alone and in peace. This is one of the best moments of the evening. Once people start arriving, they should be your priority. You have to give them attention, make sure everybody is comfortable and having a good time. This is a challenging moment. Keep cool and don’t let your guests get the impression you are nervous or worried. Don’t panic if something did not work in the kitchen or if a guest spilt wine on your white couch. I will tell you the truth, it needs a lot of practice, but eventually you will learn how to do it. Your role as a host is to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. Don’t make a fuss about anything but leave people with the impression you too, are having a great time. Be natural, elegant and effortless. (I have not reached this level yet, but we should try.)
Since I was very young in Brazil, I have always been taught not to talk about controversial subjects at the table. I still believe it’s not a good place. I prefer to do like the English avoiding any kind of conflict at the table. Although in France I have learned that talking about politics and other “heavy subjects” are quite common. I mean, it’s a cultural thing, I guess. In Ireland I have learned that depends on the group and how close you are to them.
One thing that bothers me in a dinner party is when I have to wait too long to eat something. Please, don’t do that to your guests! Timing is everything. If you wait too long to serve your main dish for example, chances are you are starving your guests. When they finally get their food they are too hungry to enjoy it. The other thing is when the host spends more time in the kitchen than with their guests. This is rude. You should be able to jungle between kitchen and people without either burning the food or boring your guests. Very hard, but essential.
Once your guests have finished, don’t rush to clean up everything. It gives the impression you want to get rid of them. Instead, bring them to the living room; offer a digestive, liquor or even a decaf coffee. (If I am the guest in question, please offer me some Baileys) Naturally they will feel it’s time to go home. When they are ready to leave, give them the last farewell with your friendliest smile. After that, you can relax because your mission is accomplished. You see, that was not so difficult, was it?
